This week we have a digest from our very own!
I’m so excited!
For the first time we have a male perspective on a couple of the posts from before. Of course it’s not just any guy. Abeg no. It is one very simple man loved by very many. Rumor has it he is one of JKUAT’s most eligible bachelor’s therefore really needs no introduction. And have you seen him on twirrer, even politicians fear him.
He used to write a few years back, but since this age (read fame) of his is catching up he has decided to be an observer these days. May all his previous 400 plus readers be transposed here. Amen!
I’m that fan who wants to pay a buck to subscribe to your blog, and taste your chapo’s too… can we talk about this sometime soon? Anyway, your two articles, one about Baby Mama Fever and Being the Second wife… have invoked some type of atmosphere to want to engage more about how our future relationships will look like. To be honest I was scared at first thought.
I’ll come to that in a moment but my general thought is, relationships have evolved a great deal, from the times when they’d be arranged without the girls consent, to when she’d go to the stream not knowing she’ll end up being someone’s wife by sunset, all the way to the modern versions of slay queens, feminists, fuckboys and a blend of a couple more personalized versions. Now notice I’m trying to bring the image of women first because for guys we wouldn’t mind 12kids per wife, 7 wives and uttermost dominance of family lineage, if and only if religion, the law, our finances and all these doctrines that dictate our lives were okay with it.
Now the scary bit dawn’s with all these metamorphosed type of men and women out here, who nobody is sure anymore which laboratories they have been titrated from. But alas, here we are! Looks, emotions, dreams, passions remain pretty much the same but that’s just a small phase of this chemical reaction called marriage.
After the honeymoon in God knows where he affords to take you and y’all had that mind blowing delicacy you’ve been reserving your cookie for, and heaven comes to earth for a while and now you’re back to your hell hole of a crib starting to live, that’s when the actual nightmare begins. Obvious argument, ‘we’ve dated for years’ ‘I know him and he knows me’ Save that for your biographies, because with dating you always have other options, with dating nobody paid dowry (I think you should do an article on this too) with dating nobody went through the steps of ruracio and having to pick you covered up in kanga’s, with dating there was no vows before God and life commitments. That’s why marriage is the big deal! I’ll just mention that after all that dating he might choose to walk away or say he doesn’t want marriage or you might end up being that baby mama you swore never to be.
Now here we want to jump life hurdles with your legs and hearts tied together. I don’t know how tight or loose the ropes are though.
‘Will he love me till death do us part?’
‘Does he still feel I’m pretty?’
‘I only want one kid but he wants 8 because we can take care of them.’
‘Will I make meals every day and still be there in bed anytime he wants?’
‘Is there a woman who winks at him during work time and he’s starting to consider it?’
‘If he cheats will I walk away with the kids and spend a chunk of time filling divorce papers and battling for custody?’
‘Is he becoming violent?’
‘Should I talk about it or the “oilskin of the house”?’ ‘Is he thinking of having anther wife?’
For men it’s even more blood-curdling because we expect our women to be just as good as our coffee. For us we consider women to be a complete package. We expect 100%. If she can’t cook ugali the she’s good to go. Ladies are more willing to work on a man, in my view. We can come as damaged goods at 55% but a lady will build us till we are at 110%. She will tell you where to invest, which tie matches which shirt and which suit goes better with which forum. Ladies are by their nature nurturers.
This is just an article, but the real answers to these questions we’ll have to come up with them a few years down the line. Like I said, in marriage the only options are either you take the heat or walk away. The dignity of marriage and the reality of single motherhood is another burden you don’t want to think of as a woman. The nightmare keeps reckoning! I can’t imagine what kind of wives our slay queens will make or what kinds of husband’s our fuckboys and Blue Subaru boys will make. But hey, I’m not even married. I can’t speak to anything for sure.
Your loyal reader,
This week we have a digest from our very own!