Thoughts of a 90's child

Situationships

Wagwan my country people!
Strathmore elections are done (I think) so we can move on with our lives now.
The first ever feature as promised a few weeks ago is finally here!
I’m so excited about this.
So i’m at the hostel this week and my friend Jane apps me saying she needs to talk to me. So my paranoid self is there freaked as hell, not that i’d done anything, but there are those things people tell you and in your head you start backdating what could be the problem from 2014.
Anyway, she says she wants in and she practically saved me because with these exams I had no clue what I was posting this week.
She’s practically a messiah!
As we speak she is in coast enjoy that darling of a boyfriend of hers. He’s just glorious hao tunangoja tu harusi honestly.
But she’s been there from the start of this journey of mine. From back in high school when I used to read journalism club reports on Fridays and practically kept that club alive; to the two novels I tried writing still in high school which she read every chapter as soon as it dropped; to listening to the weird songs I composed; and even when I started this blog afterwards. She’s been there, always clicking on the link telling me where I’m right or wrong. When I went for months without writing she’s there asking why.
Get you a Jane in your life. If you have a gift and you don’t have anyone you are accountable to for it, sometimes it’s as good as gone. Talent doesn’t know how to work hard, the best way to get it working is to get yourself an accountability partner and when you slip up, they’ll be there to ask you hard questions.
A very big thank you to this lady.
I now give you Jane!
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Growing up,a father is basically the only ‘marking scheme’ we have of what
a man ought to be.
For single mums ( God bless their strength) they become our rocks literally. So we imagine all men must be like dad. I can literally hear the devil laugh at my
innocent imagination .
As we grow up we slowly learn the differences between that child who never reads but leads the class, so frustrating by the way…and that child who
reads all day and all night but ends up among the last in the class. We
understand that life can be unfair at times. In that state of confusion we
meet men.
Forget the small boys who used to do your homework and ask for nothing in return. Those boys who’d take you to the shop just to buy you candy with money they’d saved for months. Those cute boys who would wipe dust off your dress without thinking of your ass.
Meet the men who in my understanding fall in three categories. We’ll this is not the gospel truth really I’m simply looking at the men in my friend’s lives and those in mine. Forgive me if I’m brutal.
I’ll start with these men whom in my terms I’ll call them warm.
I personally would take a ride on a cold day to java for their hot chocolate, I love it hot. I bet you love your coffee, chocolate or tea hot. Who likes luke-warm coffee anyway?
Back to my warm type of men. These are the men who look good you know more than average definitely. Their colognes would literally make you extend hugs with them . They are polite and you want all your girls to meet him. Sadly, they never have time to meet your friends. You wonder why with all the good qualities. The problem is they never want to be seen around with you. But girl you’ll never hear this from their mouths. They call you on those lazy Saturdays,
“Hey, you busy ? Do you mind if I pass by?”
Being the good girl you are you quickly invite them. Oh, the witty ones are lucky enough to have spare keys. So you leave your bed in your pajamas. You know how we don’t wear that sexy lingerie if ‘the man’ is not around.
With your half open eyes you leave your bed and you start making those cinnamon cakes he loves so much. In 30 minutes he’s putting his legs on top of your clean coffee table. You look at his legs in that position and you  sincerely hate it. Come to think of socks on top of a table you put your porcelain plate, gross.
He then stretches his hand and changes the channel from your favorite show on E and is now watching a race on horses and shouting “babe pick your favorite horse and I’ll pick mine then will see whose horse wins”. You pretend to look at the TV and you say  “5.”
So you serve your hot cinnamon, pancakes, sausages and tea. I said these guys are
polite , so they compliment your cooking and you feel like you’re on cloud nine.
As you’re placing the dirty utensils on the sink you feel a hand grab you from the back and as human being, that stimulates adrenaline. You slowly turn as he brushes his lips across yours. The rest is as good as the guy himself. Hmm you want this warm guy don’t you? Sadly, as soon he’s done he quickly dresses up and leaves as if you just farted and he can’t stand it. You’re left wondering where you’re going wrong. He’s being doing this for 2 years now.
Girl that’s just as warm as your warm coffee would be. Well next time remember to tell him you’d appreciate if he brought with you some grocery or passed by the butcher. Trust me he doesn’t even know a kilo of beef goes for how much.
How about a bottle of wine? You made him know it’s okay to cook for him, pay electricity bills for him while his being watching fifa all month. Do you blame him? Do you tell him leaving the toilet seat up is gross to you? Or leaving dirty boxers on the floor?
Does he know you enjoy watching WAGS on E on a Saturday morning? Does he know that you like KFC chicken better than you like cooking your chicken for him?
You’d better tell him before he turns cold and you’re under dictatorship in your own house. That just tells you who the cold man is. The other…I leave it to your imagination.
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Side note:
Most people don’t know when they get themselves into these kinds of relationships. Or what they are even, Over 25 did a vlog a couple of days ago about how to know you’re in one. I think they are pretty amazing and i’ll leave the link here…  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL0UUmmO7FU&t=201s

Told you Jane is amazing, flood her with love on the comment section or any of my social media (basically glynismaina everywhere).
Have a great weekend!

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