The quiet little corner in the coffee house was a safe haven for me on the days I needed to stop, breathe and recollect. The smell of freshly brewed coffee, the distant clatter of dishes and the soft hum of music from the speakers was always enough to set a calming mood for me even on my worst of days.
Today, however, not even the usual ambiance could calm my jittery nerves. Across me sat Ayana staring me down as I tried my best to avoid eye contact. The topic of discussion? My apparent mistreatment of her friend, Kimberly.
Kieran, sat on my right being a buffer of some sorts. Ayana only broke her glare to look down at the menu and proceed to order the most expensive beverage on the assumption that I would pay. Talk about delusional!
Uncomfortable silence hung in the air like a thick cloud for a few tense seconds before Ayana broke it.
“I’m just going to say it Joe, you are a pig, a douche, a cow, a ….”
Where is all this coming from, you may ask, well in all honesty I was just as confused as you are right now. Reading my blank expression, she proceeded to explain how Kimberly had trusted me with her body and soul, the accusation being that I had used that to my advantage to get in between the sheets and satisfy some cravings.
Now this accusation may paint me as a douche-bag. Maybe even a manipulative person at the least. In my defense, I was not ready for commitment and I justified this by claiming that Kimberly was the one who came onto me. Kieran sat still, leaning in his chair with his hands crossed in front at his chest. He was watching us both intently and following through the conversation in total silence. Upon utterance of my excuses, which in hindsight were plain stupid, my eyes met with his and I could have sworn a look of disappointment flashed in his eyes for a second and disappeared just as fast. The look in his eyes and the disgust on his face made me feel small in that moment.
He looked my direction and in the calmest voice I’ve ever heard from him asked,
“How much do you know about women?”
Without even giving me a moment’s breath to answer, he turned his attention to Ayana who was seemingly amused by his initial question and asked her how much she knew about men.
Again. Kieran took the moment of silence as a cue to put us both in our places. He drew in a long breath.
“Millennials are a strange generation. Always expecting to reap where they do not sow. Afraid to get down to the real work to keep their hands from getting tainted and dirty. Everyone wants the good in life while concurrently avoiding the bad. Everyone wants to maximize pleasure while minimizing pain. We all are seemingly always in a rush to meet the end without going through the motions, a bad habit at that. A habit with costly repercussions.”
His focus darted between the both of us as he leaned in to take a sip of his coffee before posing another question.
“Are any of you aware of the three existing realities?”
His question was yet again met with silence. He scoffed before continuing with his speech.
“Man is divided into three levels: the physical, essential and spiritual. The hierarchy exists that way for a reason. Man is dominant exclusively on the physical plane, woman is superior on the essential level. It is not by chance but by design.”
He chuckled before continuing, “And when they say girls run the world, I agree to some extent.”
Kieran turned and stared me dead in the face.
“You do know that sex is an end for man, but a means to an end for a woman right?”
His gaze didn’t falter as he said, “That is the reason why if you want to form a long lasting relationship with someone, physical intimacy should be the least of your priorities. Joe as a man you were made to give, not to take. If you want to always be in a physically exciting relationship, then you may just be hollow on the inside.”
Never before had Kieran ever stunned me into silence and thought with just his words. Talk about being a buffer and here he was, calling me out and hanging me out to dry. I bowed my head in apparent shame as I reflected on my actions based on his perspective.
He paused for a moment, took another sip of his drink, looked at Ayana before speaking.
“I am not saying Joe was justified in doing what he did, but take a look at yourself, are you aware of these three realities? Is Kimberly aware of these realities? Are you going to keep running from them? For how long will you continue to ignore them? Next time you are in a rush to do something, stop and think.”
Ayana looked at him with such awe and disbelief. It was evident that she was going over his words in her head trying to comprehend this new perspective he had brought to light.
“Here’s my number,” she said as she slipped the napkin across the table, “call me, I would love to hear more about this.”
I remained in thought for a second as Ayana rose to leave. He turned to me and said,
“Respecting other people does not cost you much, but it gains you tenfold. Don’t come complaining to me again about your father’s actions and attitudes to your mother, yet you are just proving to be a chip off the old block.”
This man had managed to shake up how I viewed women. Instinctively, my hand reached into my pocket for my phone and started dialing Kimberly’s number. I knew what I had to do at the moment. My brain went into overdrive thinking about it. I had never apologized to a woman for my foul actions. After a few rings, Kimberly’s sultry voice came on the other end. Deep breath.
“Kimberly, wait, I…”
This week’s post is brought to you by a good friend of mine. It is part one of three by Rafael Kariuki who also happens to be an amazing photographer (can I also say my amazing photographer?)
This being part one of the series, look out for more! In the meantime you can stalk Rafael by clicking here.
Photo was taken by me at the Village Market.
Any stories you want to share? Drop me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org