I’m one of those weird people who go to restaurants alone, order a meal and read my book. Sometimes I even carry work along (to avoid looking so weird) and type away while I barely pay attention to the food till it turns cols.
The best part however isn’t the work, it could be the food but it’s largely observing the people who get into the restaurants. There’s always a story if you stick around long enough. In my books, there’s definite categories of people you’ll see on a Friday afternoon.
- The boys.
These guys are probably in their late 30’s and early 40’s they were supposed to ‘grab lunch and catch up’ and they really try the restaurant business but it doesn’t work out, because gangsta points muhimu. They end up casting glances at their watches waiting for 5pm for the clubs to open and meanwhile watch statuses on their phones. It all sounds sad, but it’s really funny to watch when the ring leader tries to create a conversation and everyone sips the water like its laced with lemon and ale.
2. The meeting that should have been an email.
There is always one of these. It’s always three or four people. They don’t order food. Just coffee on a very hot afternoon and they pull out their diaries all go through a list of 5 items over and over until they finish their coffee and seat with a bare table avoiding the waitress’ glare and chewing on toothpicks.
In 2020 I really hope all meetings come with food if not, just make it a teleconference.
3. The new couple.
This is my favorite category, they are probably three weeks to three months into dating. The lady is always dolled up in bright colors and a trendy fashion item of the times. The guy might even try and wear a floral t-shirt because he really likes the girl.
She’ll order a salad though since they aren’t ‘at that point yet’. He’ll order a big mac and fries. The large fries, because he’s smart enough to know she’ll eventually ask to ‘take a bite of his fries’. she’ll giggle when she takes a bite of his food and they’ll sink into a myriad of Lovey dovey conversations and probably finish up with milk shakes.
4. The single ladies
They are the most entertaining to listen to. Why? They have mucene for days. It’s always two of them then the rest join later. They are extremely loud and difficult to ignore. In five minutes you’ll know every scandal under the Nairobi sun and how men and either unavailable or trash. The rest is purely catch up and looking at cute outfits on instagram and bragging about how awesome they are.
5. The loners.
This is my territory.
We come in, look for the most hidden spot, read the menu for more than 10 minutes despite knowing exactly what we’ll have. We order, ask for a glass of water as we wait and pull up a novel, a laptop or just read through twitter. We aren’t bothersome and no one knows we exist, except the waitress who want to throw you out since you’ve been there for hours and barely touch your food. Worst off, you’re seating on one of the best seats in the restaurant!
Happy Friday everyone!