Hope
There are days you wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror and wonder, is it all worth it? Am I really changing the world?
You get to work at 8:00 am leave by 4:30 pm have an evening meeting at 5:30 pm get home at 9:00 pm. You’re exhausted out of your mind at only 21. You don’t want tomorrow to happen because it’s time you adulting free trial expires.
On a good day, you don’t have a meeting in the evening, get home in time and log on to wordpress and type one or two things that make your heart swell. That alone gives you sheer joy. Has you feeling like Wonder Woman all before you start worrying about how many views the post will hit. Why are you even doing it if all you’ll have to flood people’s whatsapp messages with ‘blog post up, like comment and share’
Some days it works out, you get amazing feedback, you meet people who change everything. Other days it goes wrong and the only feedback that echoes in your brain is ‘your interview lacks depth’.
Wouldn’t it then be easier to just do my 8:00 to 5:00, get my degree, instead of coming here and writing? This question has me up at night. Like a horror movie or when Olivia Pope had to live with Quinn’s death in Scandal. I often ask people where they see themselves or their brands in five years. Sort of like a strategic plan but then you ask yourself the same question and you get an anxiety attack.
Nothing is easy… good things take time… don’t give up…. fall down seven times rise up eight… I’ve said this so many times. The thing though with advice is that it’s so easy to give but absolutely difficult to take on. Speck in your neighbor’s eye log in yours kind of thing.
This journey has made me appreciate creatives, how bold they are to dare to be. How they suit up (like Iron Man) and make a revolution. They decide fine, I have this degree but I’m not happy with an 8:00 to 5:00, I want to dance at Beyonce’s concert before I’m 40; I want to move to Canada; I want to work for an organization that writes children’s books; I want to wake up and chase sunsets; I want to tell my story through sculptures.
Today that can happen, I still don’t know how many parents can take it. From the few people I’ve talked to, it doesn’t really go well. Though they eventually accept and ‘let you be’. Even when they have no idea what that means. They try and believe they are being great parents. Others go into denial. ‘Over a million bob to finish your degree and you want to sing on the streets for pocket change?’
Point is you never have it all figured out at 21. This has been said so much but it’s such an important reminder. Why? Because there are days you’ll log on to Instagram and see your friend on holiday at Paris; You’ll see Strathmore students do four countries in 10 days; You’ll see you high school best friend get married; you’ll see your squad all up with their body goals; you’ll see people eat at fancy restaurants posting cute pictures of food and flawless face beats at the bathroom.
That isn’t about to change, not now, not in a decade but by then you’ll be 31 and you get to know which course your story takes. Whether you’ll be bold enough to take a step. Despite everything you hold on to hope. That four letter word that sometimes feels like believing in fairy tales.
You have everything you’re going through now. School is hectic; you don’t have a job yet; your girlfriend dumped you because she couldn’t have a conversation; the man you love doesn’t even check up on you… Yet everyone seems to be making it. For whoever this post reaches, whether 18,21,25,30,45 I may not know your set of issues but you’ll be fine. If you already are fine, then enjoy it. Don’t be in a rush when thing are beautiful… walk a little slower, feel the sun on your face; treat yourself at a new restaurant like CJ’s (dying to go there PS in case anyone wants to buy me food); smile a bit harder; tell your mum and dad you love them; take your siblings to the movies.
I know I seem like Judas because this morning I went on Social Media and announced I was taking downglynismaina.wordpress.com. Go figure right? ‘She writes for almost four years then backs down after telling us to be hopeful? Really Glynis? You say it’ll be okay then you shut down? Are you depressed; is it a phase; are you ok? Did your boyfriend break you heart; didn’t we share your link enough times all the way to freaking Mauritius!’
This may go through your mind or not. I’ve grown though and that’s why this post is titled hope. I got a call yesterday from a friend of mine who I never thought we’d be as close as we are. Normal chit chat here and there. Then they say they have something for me because ‘I’m amazing‘. I laugh in denial maybe because I’m just as lazy as I am hardworking. Defense mode, no expectations this year right?
Until they sent me a link glynismaina.co.ke. A new domain because they believe in my dreams. If that isn’t a miracle then I don’t know what is. I didn’t think I’d get a domain this soon. But we’ll make it work, we ought to.
Never ever lose hope, because you have everything and everyone you need to get you where you deserve to be.
See you on the other side!
A special thank you to all of you for being there for the past three and a half years, being part of my journey. Just moving to a ‘better office’ you won’t know the difference. Nothing but love.
